My Veteran

I woke up before my husband today, because I had to attend a special Veteran's Day service at church. I managed to catch and switch off my alarm less than a second after it went off, but it still woke him up :( 

I thought perhaps my handsome Veteran would go back to sleep, since it is, after all, Veteran's Day, but, instead, he pulled me over his lap, bared my bottom, and firmly made sure that I would behave today and "remember who's in charge."

Well, he knows how much I love morning spankings and how much it gets me going when he acts all strict and HOH-y. This was not a good start to getting ready for church.

By the end of the spanking, certain areas of my body betrayed my total desire for more. Sigh...

I said " to hell with getting ready" and was late for the service.

.  .  .

Happy Veteran's Day! I sure appreciate mine :)

A Surprise

After my grandma passed away, I sulked around for a while, which I was allowed to do. However, there was one insufferable evening when I was annoyed at everything, frustrated, and stressed out. I had an attitude and was constantly demanding things.

My husband went to bed before I did, and he was not happy. I thought he would simply go to bed upset, and we would talk about it the next day--a habit into which we've lately fallen. But I was in for a surprise.

I decided to crawl into bed next to him and cuddle--extend an olive branch--thinking that this would soften his heart and he would return the affection before falling asleep. Instead, he sat up, scooped me over his lap, and proceeded to give me one of the longest spankings I've ever received. He even paused halfway through and told me to face the opposite way, so he could effectively even out the smacks to my poor bottom. He used one implement, but mostly his hand. It just went on and on. I'm not sure how his hand endured it.

I can't really remember the lecture, but I remember it being serious--something along the lines of changing my behavior. There was no humor or light-heartedness in it, like some of his lectures.

I was so sore. And so relieved of stress and frustration. And so surprised.

I admired him so much after that, and I told him so. I told him how surprised I was, and he said that he was a little surprised himself. He thought about just going to sleep, but decided to try something else instead--something he knew I needed.

I was so, so glad he did.

Saint

My grandma passed away comfortably, peacefully, and surrounded by her children yesterday. Too many things had gone wrong--every time doctors tried to fix one thing, another major organ would fail. It was time.

How fitting she should go on the celebration of All Saints Day. I sang in a breathtaking Lux Aeterna from Rutter's Requiem yesterday, and, somehow, a bird got into the cathedral and was flying around throughout the service, perching on rafters and hopping around.

I'm not a huge believer in "signs"--it was a bird, caught inside. But, somehow...I don't know.

God is a mystery.

Square One

Wow, it's been almost a month. So much has happened--unfortunately, not much in the DD department.

My husband has been hesitant to spank me for things, because he is convinced it's not really a punishment. It is an extremely confusing line to walk. How can someone who enjoys being spanked take a spanking punishment seriously? How can I show him that it is effective, while, at the same time, maintain my enjoyment of spanking otherwise. I know that I can show him through my actions, but it's hard to do that when I'm not given the chance.

It is partly my fault. For example, I was having a hard time one day--being very disrespectful--and I knew it. I also didn't care. This rightfully made him angry. He refused to punish me. I really needed it, but I didn't get it. He figured if I didn't give him what he deserved, he wouldn't give me what I deserve. That's fair. I don't blame him, but it didn't make either of us feel better. There was no resolution.

My birthday was the 13th. I did get a delicious birthday spanking that involved far more spanks than my actual age, due to my losing count and having to start over ;)

In non-DD news, it's been a whirlwind month because my grandma is having major complications from open heart valve surgery. Many, many things have gone wrong, and it is going to be a long, slow recovery. But it seems like every time she does well for a few days, something goes wrong and she's back at square one.

If you're the praying type, my family would appreciate any good thoughts and prayers sent her way.

I look forward to catching up on different blogs--I've missed the DD community.

A Motivating Factor

A pair of red running shorts.

Elaborating on the distance running subject from the previous post, I will say that having a running partner can be a very good motivator in getting one to go running. Especially if the motivator will not hesitate to wield a wooden spoon when the motivatee is having trouble getting out the door.

Several days ago, I kept saying that I wanted to go running, but my actions were clearly sending the message that I was going to lay around in sweatpants all day and perhaps take a nap. Finally, my husband, tired of hearing me talk about what I should do, ordered me to get ready to go running. I went into the bedroom, grabbed my running clothes from the closet, noticed the nice, inviting, comfy bed, and decided to lay down for a couple minutes.

Several minutes later, I found myself bending over that no longer inviting bed, crying out as my bottom was smacked over and over with a plastic spatula and wooden spoon. It was harsh. I think at one point I even slid off the bed to the floor for some respite and was promptly ordered back into position.

Talk about an uncomfortable start to a run. I'm prone to heat rash when I workout, even without a spanked bottom, so I made sure to shower immediately afterward and lather on lots of lotion.

He also ran with me that day, so the motivation works both ways! I guess he figured he couldn't cop out on running when he had just provided me with such an effective incentive to quit stalling and go.

Distance Running

If you ever want a good exercise in communication with your significant other, go on a distance run together.

I'm an avid distance runner--I ran cross country through high school, and I've more recently done both half and full marathons (slowly). My husband and I have been training for an approaching 10 mile run. Usually we have to run separately, since our work schedules do not coincide, but, on the weekends, we can usually get a long run in together.

Now running is frustrating enough as it is. Anyone who runs knows that the benefits of running are far better than the actual activity itself. I'm never in a good mood by the end of my run--I'm usually hot, tired, sweaty, and in the mood to sit and cool down for a while. Then, after about a half hour, I start feeling pretty good and energized. But the run itself...

I was not prepared for the frustration of distance road running with a partner. When I run by myself, I can cross roads when I want, stop when I want, and turn around when I want, and I don't have to say anything to anyone--I just do it. When I'm with my husband, I have to convey all of these things in an intelligible sentence, which is not always feasible at mile 5 of an uphill--or at any other point, for that matter.

For example: say there's an approaching car on a mildly traveled road with lots of curves. What do you do? Well, my habit has been to cross the road so as to allow the car to continue on without having to cross the center line. My husband's practice is to stand his ground in the middle of the lane, forcing the car to briefly face oncoming traffic, if any. So, what did we do in this situation? Well, I often crossed, and my husband often stayed, creating a sort of runner "tunnel" through which the car had to travel. Or, one of us would make a mad dash at the last second to the other side of the road, followed by a statement such as "I hate when you do that!" or "Would you please say something when you're going to cross!!??"

We got a little bit better at it, but not much. We were constantly dashing around the road, trying to predict what the other would do. By the end, we had developed a sort of grunting, breathy language of commands, such as "Cruuss (pant) now," "Rit," or "Lft," usually accompanied by some vague pointing and/or flailing.

We were never in a good mood by the end of the run, especially if it was hot. But we agreed that it was definitely a good lesson in communication and adaptability. And we did enjoy the feeling of having accomplished something together, even if it was a simple 6 mile run. That feeling of enjoyment was usually enhanced by something like beer or ice cream, perhaps lessening some of the health benefits of running.

In any case, I still think I prefer to run on my own, but I like a good challenge with my husband :)

Guilt Absolved

We got in a fight. I was disrespectful. He was disrespectful. He stormed out of the house and was gone for a few hours.

He texted me later:

"I'm sorry I left the way I did, babe. I thought it was a good opportunity to be a Dom, but I blew it by storming out."

.     .     .

There is no rule that an HoH has to be perfect in every situation. Passion and emotion can get the best of anyone, at times, and my husband and I both work to keep our negative emotions in control when we disagree. We've learned a lot already and we work hard at it, but, inevitably, we misstep and both act the way we don't want to act sometimes.

I know this question gets thrown around a lot in reference to DD, but how does an HoH handle a situation where a punishment would be helpful, but both he and his partner are at fault for something? 

I suppose in any DD relationship, since no HoH on earth is perfect, there has to be an agreement that an HoH can use punishment in a situation that merits it, even when he has made a mistake as well. I can't speak for other couples (in fact, I'm interested to hear how others have handled this), but I can tell you how we deal with it.

This is something I foresaw when we first started DD. I knew there would be times when we both made mistakes--where we both said things we didn't mean. But I convinced my husband that it was OK for us to absolve our guilt differently. I reassured him that I would not hold a grudge against him when he needed to punish me for something he himself had also done. In fact, I asked him if he would spank me when we fought or argued disrespectfully, so that I could get rid of my bad feelings and move on from it. I told him, I would do whatever he wanted to help him move on from those situations, as well--though I knew he wouldn't be asking me to spank him, haha.

So it was, when we argued the other night, I hoped he would come home and give me the spanking I knew I deserved. But it seemed his conscience wouldn't allow him to punish me for something we'd both done. He decided not to spank or punish me for my role in our earlier fight. At first, I thought I was OK with it, but, as the night wore on, I felt as if there were still a wall between us--as if something were preventing us from moving on.

Upon my request, he finally took me over his lap before bed.

"The way you acted this evening was not acceptable, young lady," he said, as he smacked my bare cheeks. "Yes, we were both disrespectful, but this is how I deal with your disrespect."

He used only his hand to punish me, and I felt my hard feelings from the argument melting away with each blow.

His smacks were hard and firm for several minutes as he lectured me about disrespect. Then, they subsided into lighter, more playful smacks, and I knew the punishment was over. It was becoming something else.

We recently decided to clearly differentiate between pleasure and punishment spankings, but this seamless transition between the two did not bother me. I knew that I had been punished and that now I was supposed to enjoy the rest.

His playful smacks turned into light taps in all the right places. I squirmed over his lap, begging with my actions for him to stop teasing me, and he sternly told me to "Calm down, young lady," which only made things worse.

Finally, he flipped me over and did something to absolve his guilt ;)