Vintage Dreams

The following ads came from a Buzzfeed article of 17 Ridiculously Sexist Vintage Ads.  Of course, while modern vanillas are busy dropping their jaws in shock at how awful these ads are, I'm scrolling through thinking of what scenes I'd like to re-create:

Apparently Van Heusen shirts and ties not only command submission from wives, but they also make great pajamas.

Neither my husband or I drink coffee, but if purchasing mediocre coffee led to this, I'd be bringing home bags of Folgers instants for that dominant man in my life.

I don't even own a pressure cooker--what kind of submissive wife AM I???

Along the sames lines of fantasy DD worlds, I had a very delicious and submissive dream last night.  I dreamt that my husband wanted to have anal sex with me (which we've never done in real life, btw), and, though I was hesitant, I submitted to his desire and bent nervously over the bed to wait for him.  But then, he left the room, left me lying there all morning, and never came back.  By the time I woke up, I was frustrated, panting, and desperate with desire.

Whew...these dreams are going to kill me.  Now I am really craving some attention this evening (no, not the dream-activity, but close).  I think I will text my husband at work today and tell him how I'm feeling :)

Rumpology

I learn something new every day!

I was innocently working out on the elliptical at the gym today, watching "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" on the television in front of me, when this question appeared on the screen:

"Calling herself the ‘foremost American rumpologist,’ which Hollywood Mother reads the folds and dimples of peoples' buttocks to predict their future?”

A: Sharon Rae Costner

B: Julia DeVito

C: Jacqueline Stallone

D: Rose Pacino

I'm pretty sure I yelled "What?" and laughed out loud, then looked sheepishly around me to see if anyone in the cardio room noticed.

I could be making a living from looking at other peoples' butts!

In case you're curious, the answer is Jacqueline Stallone, and her website says this about rumpology:

"Rump reading is an art that was practiced in ancient Babylon, India, Greece, and Rome. The ancient Greeks thought the derriere was the key to health and fidelity and the Romans used prints of the gluteus maximus the way some people use palmistry today, to determine potential talents and future success."

"Rumpology is sometimes called butt reading in modern parlance. It is the art of reading the lines, crevices, dimples, and folds of the buttocks to divine the individual's character and gain an understanding of what has occurred in the past and get a prediction of the future."

An example of an ancient "rump print."

And to think I spent all that money on college, when I could have been following my dreams of looking at butts.  I'm also pretty curious about what my butt print would say about me.  Jacqueline Stallone--I may be paying you a visit if I'm ever in Santa Monica.

Take 2: Tips for Discussing DD

"I haven't felt submissive lately.  You need to give me more opportunities to be submissive," I said.  My husband sighed heavily, a look of defeat on his face.

"Are you ever going to be happy?" he asked.

I quickly learned last week that this was not the best way to approach a conversation on DD with my husband.  He immediately shut down, and I instantly felt like an ungrateful, nagging wife.  I was attempting to convey what I wanted in our relationship, but this was entirely the wrong way to do it.

Ours is somewhat of a fragile situation, because I'm the one who needs and desires this kind of lifestyle, and my husband is a vanilla who hasn't read spanking blogs his entire life.  I'm usually the one that encourages, asks, and suggests things in our DD relationship, but my husband doesn't like being told what to do.  My initial approach rightfully put him on the defensive and failed to provoke a meaningful discussion.

After the initial blundered beginning, I tried again, and we had a productive and thoughtful discussion about DD and how it was going in our relationship.  I told him I absolutely appreciate everything he does for me, and that I could not have imagined DD going this well so soon.  Then I told him that the love and respect I have for him as my HoH feels so good, that I want this dynamic to be present between us every day.

I admitted I was having a hard time feeling submissive, and that I felt like I needed to break a rule in order to bring out the HoH in him.  I told him that it was important to me to follow the rules, because they are good for me, yet I still wanted to feel submissive toward him and to be reminded of my place without having to "provoke" it.

In the end, I asked him nicely if he would be willing to find one moment each day to give me an order, and he agreed to do it, on the condition that I make a list of ideas for him.  I wholeheartedly agreed, because I've been building a list of DD scenarios in my head for approximately 20 years now, and this is a great way for me to tell him what I want, and simultaneously leave the decision up to him.

So, I'm in the midst of writing what I've coined "The Orders List", and I promise to share a portion (or all) of it when I'm finished.

When the discussion was over, I felt like we both had heard and understood each other, which doesn't always happen in our marital "discussions."  I came up with some tips for my future self (and other subs!) that I believe will work during discussions on DD:

• Always begin with appreciation--this is the man you love who agreed to do this for you; tell him how grateful you are.
• Explain how you feel without accusations.
• Gently suggest what might make the situation better, ask nicely for what you want, and offer to do something in return.
• Accept the answer he gives, and, most importantly, listen to what he says.
• Go and live it.

Really, these tips hold true for a discussion on anything.  I think it is important to maintain gratitude and respect during any disagreement, but I believe our DD relationship has truly revealed the necessity of these feelings.  In the heat of the moment, these tips can be hard for me to remember, but I think practicing these every time we talk about our relationship will lead to many fruitful discussions and a desire to make each other happy for years and years to come.

Breaking Rules and Burnt Steak

Whew, I leave Blogland for 3 days and I come back and spend 3 hours catching up on all of my favorite blogs.  To those who follow more blogs than I do, how do you all do it???

A couple things have happened here in my house over the past week.  If you recall from an earlier post, my husband and I had a very, very sweet reunion (with punishment, corner time, and excellent post punishment activities.)  I was punished for slacking on my rules while he was away for a week--getting up late, not doing what I should have been doing during the day, etc...  Well, two days after he got home, I woke up late again.

I don't have a full time job at the moment, so, for me, there is no sense of urgency to wake up at a reasonable hour.  I sort of have my own business (not officially), and I'm looking and working on creating professional opportunities for myself at the moment.  But it seems like no matter how much I do, and no matter how close I think I'm getting to making it happen, something else comes up that I need to do first.  I feel like I'm constantly working toward a goal that is just out of reach.  Plus, I have lots of trouble sleeping well, and, now that I can sleep in, I like to take full advantage of it.  Therefore, some days I don't feel the need to wake up early just to sit at home and discover how much more I need to do before I can realize my dreams.

My husband usually forgets to ask what time I woke up, but, on this day--a mere 24 hours after punishing me for sleeping in while he was away, he asked, and I told him the truth--a half hour later than I should have.

He was extremely disappointed, and I felt awful.  I felt terrible for not taking my rules seriously enough, because I'm the one who asked for them, and he is taking them seriously, and he's tired and worked hard today, and I really do want this for me and for us, and...sigh.

He told me he would deal with me later, because I was cooking dinner.  I have never, ever felt anxious about getting a spanking (besides my childhood), and my stomach was doing flops.  I wanted it over with.  I wanted instantly to feel better, to feel forgiven, and to be told that everything would be OK.  I wanted it taken care of right then and there, but, it was not to be.  I had to wait for it :(  And, to top it off, I overcooked the steak for dinner and it was charred and chewy.

If they made an award for terrible subs, I would win for this day.

So, after losing my appetite and trying to maintain pleasant conversation throughout the evening, I finally went over my husband's lap for yet another punishment.  I now have to text him twice every morning--once when I wake up, and once when I get out of bed.  Next time I get up late, my wake up time will get pushed to an earlier time, and I'll need to go to bed earlier.

I set an alarm now to make sure I wake up on time.

We also had a discussion this week about DD that didn't go very well at first, but I think I will save that for another post, since this one has become quite long.

Love you all, dear readers, and wish me luck in my new resolve to take my rules seriously!

I Have Answers

Time to answer questions!

Sara asked:  What do you like best about being in DD relationship?

My favorite thing is the respect, care, and love I have for my husband that wasn't as present before.  I am so appreciative of him and affectionate with him now--I feel a much stronger emotional connection to him than I ever had before.

Aaron asked:  Where would you most like to be spanked outside the bedroom?

I think the better question here is where would I not like to be spanked, haha.  Hmmm...seriously though, some of my more prominent fantasies involve my husband pulling the car over to the side of the road and spanking me over the hood of the car (this would have to be a remote road) because he can't let it wait until we get home.  Also, being pulled dripping wet out of the shower and spanked in the bathroom seems sooo exciting to me, although that will involve lots of towel-drying the bathroom floor afterward.

Olive Oil asked:  What is your favorite/least favorite implement to be spanked with?  And what do you do to help put yourself in a submissive mindset?

My favorite implement is a little wooden spatula we have that's already chipped in one corner from being used on my bottom (buns of steel, right here).  I'm not really sure what my least favorite is--my husband doesn't use implements often, and I wish he would.  Our collection isn't very large (are you reading this, oh husband mine?).  He uses his hand for almost every spanking, but I like the feel of different implements, although they usually hurt more than his hand.  His hand is nice as a reprieve after he's been using a particularly stingy implement for a while.

So far, I don't have anything that I do by myself to feel submissive.  My husband puts me in a submissive mindset by talking to me.  This is why lectures are sooo important to me, because spanking alone does not make me feel submissive.  In fact, I think my husband could deliver a punishment with words alone, and it would do the job.  He always makes me feel submissive when he talks sternly to me.

Anonymous asked:  Do you enjoy anal as a form of discipline?

Never tried it; not sure if I ever will.  My husband has mentioned wanting to try it, but I just...ugh, no thanks. I don't think it's for me.

Es May asked:  How has your marriage changed with DD in it?

My answer to this one is similar to Sara's question above.  We are more connected, more lovingly affectionate, and more appreciative of each other now (at least we voice it more often than we used to).  I have such a deep respect for my husband now that I didn't know I could have before.  I love that feeling, because I love him and I want to respect him all the time.

Enzo asked:  Do any of your friends know about your preference for DD and if not, would you tell them?

The simple answer is no, none of my friends know about our lifestyle, but I suspect my parents knew I was a spanko growing up--even if they don't know that "official" label.  I'm not sure if I would tell any of my friends; however, part of the reason why I have a real picture of myself as my avatar (yup, that's me!) and why I use my real name is because, if anyone who knows me in real life happens to stumble on my blog because they are researching this lifestyle, I would want them to know they could confide in me.  I guess I'm hoping I might be discovered by someone and be able to talk about this lifestyle with a friend in my vanilla life.

Tomsrose asked:  What has been your biggest hurdle in becoming submissive in the relationship? What about your husband?  Is there any struggle he would want to share?

I think I'm still in the process of getting over my big hurdle.  I will be posting about this soon, but I haven't been taking my rules as seriously as I should be, and it has disappointed my husband, because he is trying so hard to fulfill his role (and doing an awesome job, btw).

From my husband:  The struggle is getting into a DD lifestyle when I don't have the natural inclination to be a Dom or physically enforce a rule.

Thanks for all the questions, everyone!  I've enjoyed reading all of your answers to questions as well--this was a fun thing to do in March.

Sweet Reunion

"I want you to make your way to the bedroom, young lady."

I was standing in the living room with my jeans and underwear around my ankles.  My wonderful, handsome husband had just returned from his week-long trip to Ohio with the army, and we were hugging, kissing, and holding each other in the entryway of our house, when he tugged down my jeans and underwear to pay some much-anticipated attention to my bottom.

His order was not accompanied by an order to take my jeans off, so I sort of waddled into the bedroom, and he followed close behind me.

"Come here; over my lap."

I lay over his lap, my jeans and underwear were pulled off, and the lecture and spanking for my week-long lack of productivity commenced.  He used his hand to warm me up.

"Young lady, I want you to tell me what you did this week, and why you're getting this punishment," he said.

"Ummm...I broke the rules, sir," I said.

"And why are you being punished for that?" he asked.

"Well, the rules are there so that I can be a better person, and when I don't follow them, I'm not doing what I want to be doing in the long run, sir," I offered.  The spanks became harder.

"You're missing something, young lady." he asked.

"I am?" I wondered.

"Yes," he said.  It was a little difficult for me to think clearly, what with the repeated smacks on my bottom and all.

"What is a marriage?" he asked.

"Um...a commitment?" I said.

"Exactly, it's an agreement.  An agreement made by two people who promise to uphold it together.  You and I made an agreement about what you would do every day, and you did not follow that agreement.  You broke your end of it, and I'm disappointed by that.  Especially since I'm upholding my end of the agreement," he said.

He certainly was upholding his end of it, very well, indeed.  My bottom was becoming hotter and hotter, and his slaps became harder.

He spread my legs apart on his lap so he could smack those oh-so-sensitive spots close to my inner thighs.  I yelped with each smack, and attempted to close my legs, to no avail.

He ended my spanking with 10 HARD smacks on each cheek.  And I lay there, having failed miserably at turning this punishment spanking into a sexy, fun, I-missed-you spanking.

"Come with me, young lady," he offered me his hand.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Don't ask questions, just do as I say," he replied.

I followed him into...the dining room, where he gave me the dreaded corner time.  I am awful at corner time.  Not only am I generally a restless person who can't sit still without doing something, but I like intimacy and care right after a spanking, and corner time makes me wait for it until the point where I can't stand it.

He told me to face the wall with my hands at my side for 10 minutes, to think about what I would do next time he was gone, so that this wouldn't happen again.

I noticed the cobwebs in the corner and thought "gosh I need to dust here."  Then I briefly played with the tube of birthday wrapping paper in the corner.  Then I chanced a glance behind me where he was sitting at the table, staring at me.

He came over and delivered some harsh slaps to my already hot bottom.

"Did I tell you to look behind you?  No, I told you to look at the wall.  When I tell you to do something, you do it, young lady," he said, sternly.

He meant business, and it gave me butterflies.  I obediently looked at the wall with my hands at my sides, until, a few minutes later, he told me to face him and tell him what I came up with for strategies.  I told him, and he turned me to face the wall again until my ten minutes were up.  Little did I know, he was taking pictures of poor little me while I stood in the corner.

Also in the picture are the flowers he sent me while he was away :)

Before the 10 minutes were up, I was going mad with desire for him.  I couldn't stand it; every time he came over, I tried to "convince" him that we should move to the bedroom once again.  But he kept his word, and made me stand there for the full 10 minutes.

When time was up he came to me, and we practically made love against the wall of the dining room, but decided it would be more comfortable to move to the bed.  He picked me up and carried me into the bedroom, where we finally, finally made sweet love after a week of abstinence.

You Have Questions, I Have Answers

I'm jumping on the questions bandwagon!  I'm really new at this, so I'm not sure if anyone is really curious about me, but I will answer any question posed to me.  Bring it on!

Fantasy Friday: My Husband's Edition

I don't plan on being a regular of Fantasy Fridays, mostly because I don't write stories (yet), but my husband asked me today if I would post about his fantasy, so here goes:

My husband and I used to individually have accounts on Fetlife, but, because of the number of creepy pervs on Fetlife, we developed a lot of trust issues regarding it, deleted our accounts, and haven't looked back since.

But there's one thing to be said about Fetlife:  It's really good if you happen to be looking for someone kinky to hook up with--at least that was my experience from it.  And, until now, we haven't been looking for that (except for one time, when my husband was deployed, and I found someone to spank me...but that's a WHOLE other story).

Despite its tendency to be a magnet for perverted trolls, we are thinking of re-joining Fetlife, which brings me to my husband's fantasy.  His new year's resolution this year was to be more sexually adventurous with me, and I wholeheartedly support that resolution!  It is a huge turn-on for him to imagine another man disciplining and having sex with me while he watches...and my husband would like to finally make this fantasy a reality.

I have mixed feelings about this.  Of course, it's fun to imagine someone strong, handsome, and stern taking me over his lap to spank me and take care of me, but that strong, handsome, stern man has always been my husband!  I have many fantasy spanking scenarios flitting around in my head, and, honestly, most of them involve my husband.

However, there is a part of me that is incredibly excited about finding someone to do this with us.  It has to be someone I don't know--I would be mortified doing this with friends in my vanilla life.  Now all that's left to do is find someone, and I decided I would be more comfortable if it were another couple instead of a single man--a couple who are just like us, not into anything too crazy, but are looking to spice things up a bit.

I have no idea how to go about finding the right couple.  There is a BDSM club in our city, but I'm not sure how I feel about going there.  I'm also not sure if Fetlife has gotten better or worse when it comes to pervy messages from people who can't spell.  Craigslist just seems...scary.  So, fellow bloggers, I know I don't have many readers yet, but I would appreciate any and all assistance from any kinksters out there who may have embarked on a similar quest in the past.

I'm feeling more adventurous already!

The List

My husband sent me this picture today:

Monday - Lack of productivity
Thursday - stayed in bed too long & general disrespect
Left brakes outside (this refers to a package we received in the mail, which I left outside overnight because it was heavy and I didn't want to carry it in)

Yikes, he's keeping track of all the rules I've broken this week!

"Do you think that because I'm not there to discipline you, young lady, you can just disregard the rules?" he asked in our phone conversation this evening.  He sounded really stern.  I got butterflies in my stomach.

"Umm...yeah, I guess," I replied.  I'll admit that I have been more...laid back about the rules since he's been gone, but I didn't know he was keeping a list!  In the past, before we were doing DD, he would forget to keep track of my naughtiness when he was away, so I assumed this time would be the same.  He seems to have new found motivation for keeping track this time (I can't imagine where he would have gotten that ;)

I miss him so much, I can't wait to see him on Monday, even though I'm apparently in for a punishment spanking.  Hopefully he'll go easy on me since he hasn't seen me in a while...my bottom will be out of practice by next week!

Distant Orders

I was ordered yesterday to record myself...um...pleasuring myself and send it to my husband while he's away for the week. In my last post, I was wondering how we were going to keep the DD dynamic alive while he was gone. Well, this is one way!

I like it when he orders me to do things, and there are many things he can tell me to do when he's away that don't involve physical intimacy (unfortunately). I still really miss the physical contact, but it'll all be back in a week; and, until then, I can do whatever I can to help him get through the week :)

In other news, I'm watching this new show called "Bring It" on Lifetime, about a competition dance team. The team is called Dancing Dolls, and when they do interviews with the coach, they have a huge sign next to her with florescent lights that says DD.  And they also wear t-shirts that say DD4Life.

Hahahaha!

Domestic Distance

My husband is going away for a whole week :(  I saw this survey on Leah Q's blog, and I asked him to take it before he leaves.   So, I sat and asked him questions while he packed his suitcase--very productive!

1. What do you wish I'd cook more?
   I’m happy with anything you cook.  I LOVE to cook, and every night is something new and delicious.
2. How do you like to be greeted when you walk in the door?
   A hug at the door.  Every day!
3. What do you wish I'd wear more often?
   Less  Naturally
4. What do you like me to wear to bed?
   Nothing  Naturally
5. Where do you wish we went more often for fun?
   Somewhere to play laser tag.  I suck at laser tag, but OK.
6. What's your idea of the perfect date?
   Anywhere we haven’t been before with good food.   We're running out of good restaurants!
7. What can I do/say to make you feel sexy?
   Be sexually spontaneous  Surprise sex!
8. How do you feel about D/D so far?  I added this question myself.
   Every day is a challenge, and I look forward to every day.  I do too :)

In addition, if anyone has any tips on how to maintain a DD relationship long distance let me know, because it may be only a week now, but my husband will be gone for 6 weeks over the summer.  I have no idea how to maintain a DD dynamic with no physical contact--I think it will be very challenging.  I know there are others in this community that have done it, so I hope to hear from you!