Friday, February 7, 2014

My name is Autumn, and I've been happy for 7 days.

Not me pictured...or my husband

Domestic discipline is not for me.  

I've been a spanko for 26 years (a.k.a. since birth), and not once did I ever, ever think I would enter into a DD lifestyle.  I'm too stubborn, too free-spirited, too independent, and a bit of a feminist to boot.  Sure, I want my husband to spank me, but I would never in a million years want my husband to take authority over my actions and my life and the way I choose to live it.  HA HA.

Last week, I told my husband that I wanted to start living a DD lifestyle.  

Feminists everywhere better be applauding, because it's my choice, damn it, and as much as I fought the notion for years and years, I realized it's exactly what I want and need to be a better person for myself and for my romantic relationship with my husband.  It's what I've been craving for so long, but the whole idea of it, I'll admit, terrified me.

A few of the things I thought would happen in a DD lifestyle:
  1. The whole dynamic of my relationship with my husband will change--everything will be more serious, and we won't be able to laugh and joke around as much as we used to.
  2. I won't be able to argue my point anymore--I'll have to shut up and accept everything without dissent.
  3. I'll just laugh during my punishments--I won't be able to take them seriously, because I'm being spanked and I love to be spanked.
Exactly zero of these things are true about the DD lifestyle, because, guess what, everyone gets to establish their own rules and make the lifestyle unique to their wants and needs!  When it comes to DD, there is no wrong, because you make it right.  If one aspect doesn't work, you ditch it, and try something new (for example, my husband was waking me up every morning to spank me before he went to work, and that lasted for exactly one day, when I got 4 hours of sleep because I was unable to go back to sleep after being spanked--now he spanks me after work).

I digress into our history for a moment.  My husband and I have been married for 2 years now, together for 7, and, since I broke the news of my deep, dark secret to him 6 years ago, he's been very attentive to my spanking desires and needs.  He was as vanilla as they come when I first started dating him, but he has always wanted nothing more than to make me happy (God, I love him), and so, he strove to fulfill my spanking fantasies from the moment I told him.  And, for a few years, they were fulfilled, but, recently, our passion has begun to settle down for the long haul (a.k.a. marriage), as passion is wont to do when it's no longer "new."

Lately, we've both been feeling depressed, sexually frustrated, and more likely to spend time with our electronic devices than with each other.  I'm currently not working full time, and I've been in sort of a lazy slump of mindless days at home, sleeping in, and going between my phone, computer, and the TV morning through evening (sounds great, but it's not)  Last week, it had been weeks since we'd had great sex and even longer since I'd been spanked, and, when I hinted at wanting one, my husband admitted that spanking me was about as exciting as doing the dishes after dinner...yikes.

He no longer felt the desire to do it, not because he didn't want to make me happy, but because spanking for spanking's sake was actually no longer making me happy.  I couldn't get into it.  I couldn't get to that perfect, mesmerizing space of submission, love, and passion.  It felt staged, not hard enough, not long enough, too hard, too long, not right.  And, worse, the laziness and lack of motivation I felt from my lifestyle was leading to frequent frustration and bad moods that I took out on my husband.  I felt resentment, disrespect, and apathy toward him, because I he wasn't giving me what I wanted, even though I didn't even know what I wanted.

I decided to sit down one day and write in a blank word document until I figured out what I wanted to happen in my life and in my relationship.  Turns out, I wanted to be disciplined...badly.  I was craving it, and, at the same time, dismissing the idea as ludicrous.  So, my husband came home from work, and I told him what I wanted, and spent the next 2 hours telling him how much he needed to do this for me.

He was reluctant and had several objections, but he was willing to give it a try, and boy did he step into his role fast.  Honestly, for a reluctant HOH, he is absolutely relishing his new found authority. And, guess what?  We laugh, joke, and play around more than we used to.  I still argue all my points constructively and we come to mutual decisions.  I'm happier, more productive, and feeling confident in my ideas and decisions. And, most importantly, we can't take our hands off each other.  I want my husband more than I have ever wanted him before.  I accept my punishments from him, and I get butterflies in my stomach, and then we make love like newlyweds.  

I don't expect it to always be this way.  Hell, if it's this easy for the rest of our lives, I'll be campaigning on the streets for DD lifestyles.  But for now, this is absolutely what I want and it's enabling me to give my husband what he wants, and this is making us happier, closer, and more in love than we ever have been.  The only disappointment is that we didn't start sooner.


  1. Hi Autumn, welcome to our blogging community. I absolutely love your story and the progression of your young life. You have found so early what many in our community don't obtain until later in life: a spanking relationship and now a DD lifestyle with the person you love. I am so happy you figured out exactly what you want and that your husband is so willing and eager to walk by your side in this journey. I look forward to reading more as your DD lifestyle blossoms. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Thank you for being my first ever comment! I'm excited to share this new chapter of my life with people in this community. I've been a lurker for years, so it's about time I joined in the conversation.

  2. Hallo Autumn,
    I'm from across the Pond, I love your nom de plume, my favourite season. ;)
    I read Michael's introduction and thought I'd take a look.
    I like what I see, hopefully I'll be back.
    Welcome to the blogosphere. :D

    1. Thanks Paul! Happy to be here in this community of spanking-minded people :)

  3. Welcome Autumn :)

    Sounds like you and your husband are off to a great DD start. It's so nice meeting new DDers and hearing their story. I hope you'll stick around so we can all get to know you better.


  4. Autumn, What a great first blog post! I'm a spanko and feminist and new to dd as well. Both my husband and I are having a great time and figuring our way. There are great people in this community. I look forward to more posts.

  5. Thank you all! It's a roller coaster of a journey :)

  6. Welcome to blogland! I look forward getting to know you more.

  7. This was so fun to read. I felt much the same way asking for a DD relationship. I'm too independent, too free spirited, too opinionated, etc...And guess what? I'm still all of those things! Anyways, good luck to you and I look forward to hearing more about your DD life as it unfolds!

  8. Welcome Autumn! Ditto to what TomsRose said. I'll let you in on a well known secret, almost every Dd wife I know could be discribed they way you discribe yourself!

  9. Good to know we're all a sassy, strong-willed bunch! Our husbands/partners wouldn't have it any other way, I'm sure...

  10. Welcome! You are in good company!

  11. What an exciting start - look forward to reading more ava x

  12. Great introductory post! All well stated.
    Looking forward to hearing more.

    1. Thanks Enzo, can't wait to check out your blog as well! Everyday spankings sound good to me :)