My husband taught me a lesson in respecting him last night :(
Over the weekend, we went grocery shopping together. There are two things wrong with that scenario:
- Grocery shopping on a weekend.
- Grocery shopping with my husband.
It was a madhouse, and I was not in a good mood by the end of the trip. To make matters worse, we decided to go through the self-checkout line, and we both fed cash into the machine at the same time.
After I completed the total by feeding in a $20, my husband continued to put more change into the machine.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? I ALREADY GAVE IT THE FULL AMOUNT!!" I yelled, knowing that it would only spew more change back out at us. And, as we walked out of the store, I would not drop the subject, asking what the heck he was doing putting more change in, and didn't he notice that I had given it the proper amount, and so on and so forth.
I'm not sure why I made such a big deal out of it. I have no excuses. I also did not realize how loud I was and how embarrassed my husband was. Later, when I realized he was upset, I felt really badly about disrespecting him--especially in public.
I apologized, but, in our particular relationship, I knew an "I'm sorry" wasn't going to cut it.
Last night, I paused a TV show we were watching to cuddle with him, and he pulled back and sent me to the bedroom to wait. "Here it comes," I thought.
I was lectured as I went over his lap for my impending doom. I decided early on that I would take it the best I could without squirming, back-talking, or trying to get out of anything. My man is not one for implements, but I knew this was a serious spanking because he used three. He started with his hand, moved to a wooden spatula, and finished with his belt. The belt really hurt. I can't even remember the last time he used it, but it is so whippy and stingy, and it was all I could do not to crawl away and hide.
Afterward, he sent me to the corner and asked me to come up with six things I was going to do to respect him from now on. Then he made me stand in front of him and name them off (this is harder than it sounds--remembering a list of 6 things under pressure!). Here was my list:
- Do what he asks me to do.
- Speak respectfully to him all the time, regardless of my mood.
- Follow the rules he's given me.
- Respect myself--when I respect myself I can better respect him.
- Do nice things for him.
- Ummm...oh my gosh, I can't remember the last one! (Hopefully he isn't reading this!)
He promised a much more severe punishment the next time I disrespect him in public. I think I will set myself up for success and simply avoid grocery shopping with him on the weekend! Why test myself unnecessarily??