Tuesday, July 8, 2014
The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful: The Bad
This post is part two of a three part "reunion" series with my husband. To read the first part, click here.
Three times in a row is definitely a record for us. After that, my lady parts were "closed for business," so we then moved on to watching other people have sex and violently kill each other (caught up on Game of Thrones).
Although I was happy and satisfied sexually, I did feel that my punishment had been cut short. I didn't feel emotionally absolved or renewed, and I was still anxious about what was to come the next day. There was still a whole list of things that he wouldn't let me read. As we lay in bed Saturday night, I asked if my punishment was going to be severe with lots of lecturing, implements, and corner time.
He responded with all the right answers, giving me chills and making my stomach flop. Like I said in my previous post, my husband is very good at building me up and creating expectations for me. I told him I was nervous.
The next day, after church, we were sitting at home, each doing our own thing. I decided to put down what I was doing and lay over his lap. I do this for fun sometimes when I'm in the mood for attention, and I will innocently say, "Oh, how did I end up here?" He usually complies and gives me attention. This time, he told me he liked my dress because he could easily lift it up and have access to my bottom. A rare compliment from my husband about my fashion choices.
He started rubbing my bottom and then spanking it. I was enjoying the attention. All of this was taking place on the living room floor right next to his laptop. Right in the middle of this sexy, fun spanking, he opened his computer and began going through the list of naughty things I did while he was away. The list was short, and the major thing on the list--disrespecting him--I had already been sort of punished for. He half-heartedly lectured me about the other three, not-so-important things on the list, and thus began my "severe" punishment. No preparation, no face-to-face lecturing, no corner time :(
My heart sank. This was not at all what I had expected. What started out as a fun spanking turned into a very anti-climactic punishment spanking, and the worst part was, he had forgotten to put something on the list for which I felt very guilty--something I thought was important. So, there I was, lying over his lap, feeling horrible because I was in a totally wrong state of mind, being spanked for silly things that I didn't think mattered compared to the other thing he'd forgotten.
He ordered me to go to the bedroom, and I sighed, exasperatingly. He gave me an incredulous look.
"You're on thin ice," he said.
"Just, stop. Can we please just stop this?" I asked. I lay there, not knowing what to say next. He told me to sit up and look at him. I was quiet for a bit, but with a little prompting, I was able to articulate what was bothering me.
I told him that I felt really let down, because he had mentioned previously that I was going to be punished for something, and, when it came time for it, he'd either forgotten about it or didn't think it was important. And I said that when he does such a good job of building me up and setting my expectations, it really disappoints me when the main event is nothing like he said it would be.
I felt awful. I felt like I had totally shot his confidence, but I needed to say it, because I really was disappointed. I sat in his lap and we hugged and talked. It turns out he did forget to put the thing on the list, but the real problem was that we had a difference of opinion as to how important it was. I thought it was a major thing, right up there with disrespect, and he thought it was better categorized with forgetting to call him Sir during punishments.
We talked about how important managing expectations are, and I told him he should not tease me when it comes to punishment unless he plans to follow through. When he builds me up and makes threats about what will happen, I come to expect those things to happen, and, when they don't it's a huge let-down.
We also talked about setting up for punishment--we agreed that it was important to keep fun spankings and punishment spankings separate, and that a fun spanking should not transition into a punishment spanking, because it does not allow for preparation or proper mindset.
I think he saw my side of things, but, at this point, there was no use in continuing where we left off. I could tell that he was sad and upset. I know I had bruised his ego.
"Well, what do you want me to do?" he asked.
"I want you to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and give me a real punishment later," I said.
To be continued...