Monday, March 23, 2015
The Spanko/Vanilla Answers
Here are the answers to this month's questions for both me and my husband. I wanted him to chime in this year, to give a little perspective on what it was like, one year in, for a former vanilla in a DD/TTWD relationship. Alas, he is a man of few words when he's put on the spot, but I managed to pry more than just "yes" and "no" answers from him :)
Nina asked: What is most important to you in a friendship? How would you and your husband describe each other in one word?
He: Mutual trust is the most important thing in my friendships. And I would describe my wife as "strong."
She: This is a hard question for me, because, in all honesty, I don't consider myself to be a very good friend--I am absolutely horrible at keeping in touch with those who've been in my life. I think a willingness to truly listen, though, is probably most important. I would describe my husband as "selfless."
Enzo asked: Since you started this, have your views changed towards being open to trying more things? Also, do any of your friends know about your spanking interest? If so, what has been the reaction?
He: Since starting DD, I'm actually more open to S&M. Before I met my wife, I had no exposure to that sort of thing, and now I'd be open to seeing dungeons or whatever...party, group stuff.
She: I'll start with saying that none of our friends know, which is why my husband did not answer that question. I would love to do a DD meetup with other couples I've met on here. And my husband is open to seeing another man spank me. I would actually like to be spanked by a woman someday, and I've gone back and forth with wanting to attend one of those huge spanking parties like Crimson Moon or Shadow Lane...I don't know yet. Fantasizing about these things and making them happen are obviously very different things. The DD meetup seems to be the most harmless of the bunch at the moment!
Dan asked: Does [your husband] have any advice on how to overcome the reluctance to "hurt" someone they care about?
He: I overcame that reluctance, ultimately, because my wife wanted it, and, secondly, because I didn't see it as a permanent pain--I saw it as temporary pain for her pleasure. I like to compare it to running--why do people go running when they know it's going to hurt their legs? It's cause of the endorphin rush or the "pleasure" aspect of it.
She: I don't know how he ultimately reconciled it, but it took quite a bit of convincing that I really wanted it--that, to me, the pain was like a tiny negative side affect of all the pleasurable aspects to spanking.
Very good questions and thank you all for asking, and, if there are still inquiring readers who want to know more, please ask!