Confession: My Crush

I have a crush on a much older man--as in, old enough to be my father.

And the best part is, my husband knows about it!

Actually, my husband encourages me to develop crushes, because it turns him on to think that I fantasize about being with other men.  I don't develop crushes very often, and I have often made stuff up in the bedroom to satisfy my husband, but this is not make-believe.  This is a full blown, all-consuming fantasy that makes me question my hormone levels.

This older man is technically my boss; although, in my profession, that doesn't mean what you might think. I'll put it this way--he's in a position of leadership where I work, and he's incredibly talented, funny, and laid back.  He's one of the best people with whom I've ever worked, and I respect him as a professional and on a more personal level.

He's not particularly attractive, physically, but I have always been drawn more to personality and talent than to looks.  That doesn't mean I haven't fantasized about physical acts with him.  Recently, I seem to be in this odd and delirious state of teenage ecstasy, fantasizing about everything from what conversation we might have to what it would be like if he spanked me.

This is one fantasy, however, that will most definitely remain a fantasy.  For one thing, the guy is happily married with kids who are my age.  I am no home-wrecker.  Secondly, I love my job and the people with whom I work, including him.  He has no idea I fantasize about him, and I plan for it to stay that way.  In fact, I'm so worried about letting on about it, that I probably seem a little aloof and standoffish in his presence.

The fact that I know I can never have him is probably fueling my fantasy, but I'm OK with that.  It's fun to let my imagination run wild, especially since my husband likes to hear about it :)

So I will let it run wild.

Fantasy Friday: My Husband's Edition

I don't plan on being a regular of Fantasy Fridays, mostly because I don't write stories (yet), but my husband asked me today if I would post about his fantasy, so here goes:

My husband and I used to individually have accounts on Fetlife, but, because of the number of creepy pervs on Fetlife, we developed a lot of trust issues regarding it, deleted our accounts, and haven't looked back since.

But there's one thing to be said about Fetlife:  It's really good if you happen to be looking for someone kinky to hook up with--at least that was my experience from it.  And, until now, we haven't been looking for that (except for one time, when my husband was deployed, and I found someone to spank me...but that's a WHOLE other story).

Despite its tendency to be a magnet for perverted trolls, we are thinking of re-joining Fetlife, which brings me to my husband's fantasy.  His new year's resolution this year was to be more sexually adventurous with me, and I wholeheartedly support that resolution!  It is a huge turn-on for him to imagine another man disciplining and having sex with me while he watches...and my husband would like to finally make this fantasy a reality.

I have mixed feelings about this.  Of course, it's fun to imagine someone strong, handsome, and stern taking me over his lap to spank me and take care of me, but that strong, handsome, stern man has always been my husband!  I have many fantasy spanking scenarios flitting around in my head, and, honestly, most of them involve my husband.

However, there is a part of me that is incredibly excited about finding someone to do this with us.  It has to be someone I don't know--I would be mortified doing this with friends in my vanilla life.  Now all that's left to do is find someone, and I decided I would be more comfortable if it were another couple instead of a single man--a couple who are just like us, not into anything too crazy, but are looking to spice things up a bit.

I have no idea how to go about finding the right couple.  There is a BDSM club in our city, but I'm not sure how I feel about going there.  I'm also not sure if Fetlife has gotten better or worse when it comes to pervy messages from people who can't spell.  Craigslist just seems...scary.  So, fellow bloggers, I know I don't have many readers yet, but I would appreciate any and all assistance from any kinksters out there who may have embarked on a similar quest in the past.

I'm feeling more adventurous already!