And the best part is, my husband knows about it!
Actually, my husband encourages me to develop crushes, because it turns him on to think that I fantasize about being with other men. I don't develop crushes very often, and I have often made stuff up in the bedroom to satisfy my husband, but this is not make-believe. This is a full blown, all-consuming fantasy that makes me question my hormone levels.
This older man is technically my boss; although, in my profession, that doesn't mean what you might think. I'll put it this way--he's in a position of leadership where I work, and he's incredibly talented, funny, and laid back. He's one of the best people with whom I've ever worked, and I respect him as a professional and on a more personal level.
He's not particularly attractive, physically, but I have always been drawn more to personality and talent than to looks. That doesn't mean I haven't fantasized about physical acts with him. Recently, I seem to be in this odd and delirious state of teenage ecstasy, fantasizing about everything from what conversation we might have to what it would be like if he spanked me.
This is one fantasy, however, that will most definitely remain a fantasy. For one thing, the guy is happily married with kids who are my age. I am no home-wrecker. Secondly, I love my job and the people with whom I work, including him. He has no idea I fantasize about him, and I plan for it to stay that way. In fact, I'm so worried about letting on about it, that I probably seem a little aloof and standoffish in his presence.
The fact that I know I can never have him is probably fueling my fantasy, but I'm OK with that. It's fun to let my imagination run wild, especially since my husband likes to hear about it :)
So I will let it run wild.