Wake-Up Spankings

When done well, wake up spankings are one of my favorite things.  I'm not talking about being jolted awake by a sudden slap to the bare bottom.  I'm talking about the slow, sensuous morning spankings that start out with my underwear being slightly lowered as his hand lightly rubs and fondles my cheeks.  Then gentle fondling and rubbing turns into light taps on my almost bare bottom.

This is usually enough to bring me out of a dream state and into a more conscious dream state.  When I'm more awake and aware of what's going on, I like the taps to become a little firmer, along with some "good morning, beautiful lady" messages whispered in my ear.  I will smile, slowly open my eyes, and sigh with satisfaction at my wonderful wake-up call.

Then, as I begin to fully wake up, I like to be gently lifted over his lap for some firmer spanks to my now fully bared bottom, interspersed with rubbing and teasing.  And then, if we have the time, that rubbing and teasing leads to other fun morning events :)

With this method, there is no waking up "on the wrong side of the bed."  This is the right way to start a day!

Ultra Violet Rays Vs. Spanking Implement: What Caused the Burn?

UV rays cause nothing but pain and suffering (sometimes long term--wear your sunscreen!), but so do spankings.  I prefer spankings, since the effects wear off after a couple hours (or days) and don't cause cancer.  Today's game is called "Sunburn or Spanking."  You guess!

A.  

B.  

C.  

D.  

Answers

A and B are both sunburns...ouch!!  Although the pattern in B is pretty neat, I'd prefer to decorate my skin without having to peel it off later!  C is, of course, a spanking, and I'll let you decide for yourself on D.

In conclusion, remember no tan is a "healthy" tan, and the only reddening your skin should receive is from a hand, belt, paddle, brush, etc...NOT the sun!

State Troopers

S and T are for State Troopers...specifically, Alaskan State Troopers.

I've always had a thing for men in uniform.  A man in uniform equals a man with authority, and going over the hood of a policeman's car as punishment for my crimes is on my bucket fantasy list.

Yes, officer, I broke the law.

I discovered a gem of a show the other day called Alaska State Troopers, and I'll say that I suddenly have a strong urge to visit Alaska and break the law.  There are some very attractive men in uniform enforcing laws in Alaska, and I spent several hours watching, mesmerized, as they wasted all of their authoritative finesse on stupid criminals.

Honey, I've had a hard day, now over my knee.

I think an Alaska State Trooper would fall quite naturally into a dominant position at home, but I suppose that's not necessarily true.  Maybe someone who spends hours and hours ordering lawbreakers around doesn't want to come home and order his wife around.  If that's the case, then it's good I'm not married to one.  I can still fantasize, though!

Alaska here I come!

N-O-P-(E)

It's time for N, O, and P.  NOPE.  According to Urban Dictionary, there are several definitions of the word "Nope." There seems to be a consensus among various sources, though, that "Nope" is somehow different than "No."  It is a variant of the word "No" and there are some situations where "Nope" simply fits better. Here are some different definitions and examples, slightly altered so as to pertain to our D/D lifestyle:

NOPE

1. The best response to a sub who is trying to argue or debate with you; the ultimate comeback that is immediately followed by a spanking.
     Example
     Sub:  "You are so wrong!  My way was the right way!"
     Dom:  "Nope." *takes Sub over lap for spanking*

2. "No" or "negative."  An emphatic form of "no," implying that the Dom's answer will not be changing in the future--often used when the Dom has to say no repeatedly.

     Example

     Sub:  "Are we done yet?"

     Dom:  "Nope."

     Sub:  "Can I get off your lap yet?"

     Dom:  "Nope."

     Sub:  "Can I leave the corner now?"

     Dom:  "Nope."

3.  The reaction a sub has when seeing a scary spanking implement, e.g. Lexan cane

     Example

     *Sub walks into bedroom and sees Lexan cane and paddle laying on the bed.*

     Sub:  *backs away slowly* "Nope nope nope nope nope..."

4.  A flat-out refusal; the complete and ultimate rejection of orders.

     Dom:  "Your task for tomorrow is to write me a three-page reflection on respect.  Now over my lap."

     Sub:  *"Nope."

     *Highly un-recommended response.

5.  A word to express when a sub knows what she is attempting will not be successful.

     Dom:  "You are going to be punished for this."

     Sub:  "You shouldn't punish me because I really tried to do the right thing.  I even prepared, thought ahead, wrote instructions, and...um...nope, OK."  *gives in and goes over knee*

6.  The most common response from women when a man asks for anal sex.

     Man:  "Would you like to try something new?"

     Woman:  "Sure, sounds exciting!"

     Man:  "Anal sex..."

     Woman:  "Nope."

     Man:  "I'll be gentle..."

     Woman:  "Nope."

A message of caution to the subs of Blogland:  Just because you can use the word "Nope" doesn't mean you should.  I wouldn't recommend reenacting any of these scenarios.  If you simply can't resist, perhaps you should follow it up with a "Sir," so as to make it slightly more respectful.

Nope, Sir!

My Knight in Shining Loafers

For K and L, I wanted to share the story of what my husband was wearing the first time I met him.  I met him far away from where either of us live--we were both volunteering with an organization in the south after Hurricane Katrina hit in 2005.

I wouldn't say it was love at first sight.  In fact, my now-husband was wearing one of the weirdest outfits I had ever seen.  From the feet up, this is what he was wearing:

Loafers with socks

Gym shorts

A camouflage jacket

And to complete the ensemble, a boonie cap.

"Stand back, ladies," I said, upon seeing him.  "This one's mine."

No, that's not really what I said.  I thought his outfit was weird, but I didn't let that deter me from getting to know him.  And come to find out, his regular shoes had been stolen, which is why he was wearing the loafers.

"Ah!" I said, "Because the outfit makes so much sense without the loafers..."

A Joke

What did the HoH say to the donkey graduating from college?

You're such a smart ass!

Har, har, har.  REALLY lame, I know.  I couldn't think of anything better today.

Ice Cream Irony

Since it's summer and in the 80's here today, I want to talk about my favorite dessert (or, in some cases, favorite meal), ice cream!

You'll never guess my favorite flavor.  Well, maybe you will when I tell you that it's really ironic.

My favorite flavor used to be chocolate chip cookie dough:

I still like cookie dough a lot, and I usually get it when I go to an ice cream stand, but I usually mix it with some sort of delicious fruity ice cream, like black raspberry:

Or blueberry cheesecake:

Or a newer delicious creation, perfect for my PMSing self, salted caramel:

But I wouldn't say any of these above flavors are my all-time favorite ice cream.  No, that honor goes to...

VANILLA!!

Vanilla is the best!  It's so creamy and vanilla-y tasting, and it goes with everything.  You can put fresh berries, hot fudge, or caramel on it, instantly enhance any kind of cake or pie imaginable, and you can even pour some root beer over it and enjoy a tasty, summertime beverage.  As much as I like actual melt-in-your-mouth chocolate, I really don't like chocolate ice cream.  I prefer ice creams with vanilla bases, and it's definitely the kind I buy the most in pint/quart sizes.

I also wonder how vanilla came to be known as the plan Jane of ice creams, because vanilla is a rather exotic flavor.  I mean, vanilla beans are grown mostly in Mexico, Tahiti, and Madagascar, people!  If that's not exotic, I don't know what it is!

Despite its reputation as the missionary-style of ice creams, it will always be my favorite flavor.  In fact, I bought a pint yesterday to go with my quart of local strawberries, and I ended up eating the whole pint :(

I felt so guilty afterward, ugh.  I wish my husband were around to spank me, but, alas, I must find other ways of curbing my PMS cravings.

Hunger After Sex

Mmmm...a sandwich.

What does a typical woman want after sex?  Cuddling?  Quality time with her lover?  Several minutes to "bask in the afterglow?"

What does a typical man want after sex?  A sandwich?  Sleep?  A good TV show?

These are definitely stereotypical characteristics, but I think there's some truth to generalizations about typical post-sex activities for men and women.

I guess I'm more like a man, then, when it comes to post-sex.  Having an orgasm makes me hungry! Immediately after sex, I want to get up and get a snack.  And I'm usually too restless to cuddle--I can cuddle for approximately 60 seconds before wanting to get up and do something relaxing on my own.

My husband likes to hold me after sex, and then roll over and sleep if it's night time.  But he laughs at me when I voice the inevitable "I'm hungry!"

Game of Thrones

This is my "It's Sunday and I'm Too Lazy to Write a Real Post, so I'm Going to Half-Ass It" post for the letter G.

Game of Thrones is on in 2.5 hours!!  I will be busy from 8:00 - 10:00 pm.  Please direct all calls outside of those hours.

Fantasies: Should They Stay That Way?

On C day, I wrote a confession piece about a crush I have on an older man.  I fantasize about being with this man and doing things physically with him, but I also feel that this is a fantasy that should never become a reality.

Not all fantasies should stay fantasies, though.  I know many people in this community have experimented with their own fantasies--threesomes, bondage clubs, spanking parties, exhibitionism, etc...

My questions for my readers are:  Do you have any fantasies that you've made realities?  What were they and did they go how you expected?  Do you have any fantasies that you regret bringing to real life?

If you don't usually comment, I would really appreciate a comment on this one, because I am genuinely interested in the variety of responses.

My answer to my own question would be:  yes, I have fulfilled some of my fantasies in real life.  My husband spanking and disciplining me is one of them, and I sure as hell don't regret that one.  But there have been other fantasies that didn't go as planned or weren't as good as I thought.  I have had someone else spank me who was not my husband, and, though it was a good spanking, I missed the emotional connection that I have with my husband, and I felt rather depressed afterward.

I learned that being spanked by someone who doesn't care for you is not at all the same as the passion and emotion that comes from being spanked by someone who loves you.  I don't really regret living out this fantasy, because I think it was an important lesson for me to learn.  If I hadn't done it, I would probably still be wondering what it would be like to be spanked by another man.

That being said, I still wonder what it would be like to be spanked by a woman, but that's a fantasy for another day :)

I look forward to your responses!

Exercising Your Butt

I don't know about ya'll, but I love a good butt when I see one, and I do work out to keep mine looking fit and nice.  Here's how to firm and tone yours for that special spanker in your life, or for the viewing pleasure of the general public.  I've found some good exercises for working on the gluteus maximus.  I don't know the names of these exercises, so I've made up my own:

1. The Superwoman with a Ball

2. The Pelvic Thrust with a Knee Jerk

3. The "Walk Like an Egyptian:" Leg Edition

4. The Mermaid

5. The Right Angle

6.  The Sit Down, Stand Up, J/K Sit Down

7. The Human Slingshot

There you are.  So many options for working on that fine bottom!  Happy exercising!

Daenerys: My Idol

I'm so into Game of Thrones right now, that I don't know what I will do when this season ends (probably start reading the books).  I want to talk about my fictional character idol--Daenerys Targaryen.  

I want to be her.

This girl is one of the most bad ass, amazing girls in fictional literature (there are many others, but she totally rocks).  She's strong, confident, gentle, fierce, and seriously exotic looking--she's eaten a horse heart, freed thousands of slaves, and even walked into a fire and given birth to dragons!  Who does that?!

In addition to having some amazing female characters, Game of Thrones has also pushed almost every unspoken boundary in television.  The series is chock full of full frontal nudity, prostitutes, "consensual" rape (no such thing), tons of rape, violent and gory murder, incest, sodomy, necrophilia. One thing they haven't shown though, is a good spanking scene, and I can't think of a better candidate for one than Daenerys.

She wouldn't be forced into it, though.  She wouldn't be thrown over someone's lap for an attitude adjustment.  No, she would command someone to spank her.  She would invite one of her many suitors to her personal chambers and give him an order to take her over his lap and spank her.  And she would like it.

Perhaps I'll write a letter to George R.R. Martin.

Confession: My Crush

I have a crush on a much older man--as in, old enough to be my father.

And the best part is, my husband knows about it!

Actually, my husband encourages me to develop crushes, because it turns him on to think that I fantasize about being with other men.  I don't develop crushes very often, and I have often made stuff up in the bedroom to satisfy my husband, but this is not make-believe.  This is a full blown, all-consuming fantasy that makes me question my hormone levels.

This older man is technically my boss; although, in my profession, that doesn't mean what you might think. I'll put it this way--he's in a position of leadership where I work, and he's incredibly talented, funny, and laid back.  He's one of the best people with whom I've ever worked, and I respect him as a professional and on a more personal level.

He's not particularly attractive, physically, but I have always been drawn more to personality and talent than to looks.  That doesn't mean I haven't fantasized about physical acts with him.  Recently, I seem to be in this odd and delirious state of teenage ecstasy, fantasizing about everything from what conversation we might have to what it would be like if he spanked me.

This is one fantasy, however, that will most definitely remain a fantasy.  For one thing, the guy is happily married with kids who are my age.  I am no home-wrecker.  Secondly, I love my job and the people with whom I work, including him.  He has no idea I fantasize about him, and I plan for it to stay that way.  In fact, I'm so worried about letting on about it, that I probably seem a little aloof and standoffish in his presence.

The fact that I know I can never have him is probably fueling my fantasy, but I'm OK with that.  It's fun to let my imagination run wild, especially since my husband likes to hear about it :)

So I will let it run wild.

Buns (The Toasted Kind)

Yes, these kind of buns.

I thought I would share a funny story about buns for the letter B.

Back when my husband and I were engaged, we worked on a farm together for a couple of weeks while he was visiting me at my parents' house.  More specifically, we worked at an apple orchard during "Fall Festival"--an extremely busy weekend farm event in October where people buy apples, cider, pumpkins, hayrides, games, pony rides, etc...

Our job was to run a hot dog stand together.  Sounds innocent enough, right?  My then-fiance was in his element, grilling hot dogs to perfection for our line of customers, while I took the money.

But he didn't only grill hot dogs.  He asked every single customer if they wanted their buns toasted, and he would throw a hot dog bun on the grill if they said yes.  I was beyond embarrassed.  Some customers didn't get it--they responded with a polite "No thanks" or "Yes please."  Other customers laughed, and I wanted to sink into the ground from embarrassment.  He knew exactly what he was doing too--this was well after his conversion from vanilla to reluctant spanko.

Thankfully, I didn't know any of our customers, and we don't live there anymore.  In the future, though, I will try to avoid running a hot dog stand with my husband.

Apple Bottoms Jeans

Today's letter is A, and I've chosen to write about Apple Bottoms jeans, because 1) I love jeans, and 2) I've heard about these mysterious "apple bottom jeans," but I'm not quite sure what they are--all I know from various hip hop songs is that women's asses look hot in them.

According to Wikipedia:

Apple Bottoms is a fashion and lifestyle brand for women launched in 2003 by rap artist Nelly, Yomi Martin and Ian Kelly. The brand was initially a denim label, but has since expanded to include other women's and girl's clothing, perfume and accessories.

Ah ha!  Rappers decided to get together and design clothing for women so they would have something to rap about...now I get it.  If you want to walk around with apples on your butt cheeks, these are the jeans for you.  But it's not just apples--I recall a trend that started when I was in high school of jeans and sweatpants that came with writing on the butt (basically inviting people to stare at your ass and read what it says).  Well, it seems Apple Bottoms influenced that trend:

OK, so I really want a pair of these jeans now, because, the letters A B happen to be my first and last name initials.  I suppose I was destined to wear these jeans!

A-Z Blogging Challenge

Thanks to Del Fonte for introducing me to the A-Z Blogging Challenge in June.  I'm totally on board for this, because my husband is gone for the whole month of June!  This way I will have to come up with things to write about.

The FAQ's for the challenge can be found here.  Basically, it involves going through the entire alphabet for the month of June, and blogging about a topic that begins with a new letter every day.  I'm going to try my best to make it all DD and/or spanking related, but we'll see (any ideas for X besides xylophone???).  If I stay on top of it, there will obviously be a lot to read on my blog this month.  Don't feel the need to get through all of it--I'm used to rambling on to myself!