I was innocently working out on the elliptical at the gym today, watching "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" on the television in front of me, when this question appeared on the screen:
"Calling herself the ‘foremost American rumpologist,’ which Hollywood Mother reads the folds and dimples of peoples' buttocks to predict their future?”
A: Sharon Rae Costner
B: Julia DeVito
C: Jacqueline Stallone
D: Rose Pacino
I'm pretty sure I yelled "What?" and laughed out loud, then looked sheepishly around me to see if anyone in the cardio room noticed.
I could be making a living from looking at other peoples' butts!
In case you're curious, the answer is Jacqueline Stallone, and her website says this about rumpology:
"Rump reading is an art that was practiced in ancient Babylon, India, Greece, and Rome. The ancient Greeks thought the derriere was the key to health and fidelity and the Romans used prints of the gluteus maximus the way some people use palmistry today, to determine potential talents and future success."
"Rumpology is sometimes called butt reading in modern parlance. It is the art of reading the lines, crevices, dimples, and folds of the buttocks to divine the individual's character and gain an understanding of what has occurred in the past and get a prediction of the future."
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| An example of an ancient "rump print." |
And to think I spent all that money on college, when I could have been following my dreams of looking at butts. I'm also pretty curious about what my butt print would say about me. Jacqueline Stallone--I may be paying you a visit if I'm ever in Santa Monica.
Yep I knew that. I was telling some friends about it and they didn't believe me. :)
ReplyDeleteHaha, I'm not sure if I would have believed you either. However, the fact that it sounds too ridiculous to be true should in itself be an indication of truth--after all, this is Hollywood we're talking about!
DeleteLol, this can't be true - or is it? Uhm, as a freelance butt-reader you could decide whose you'd want to read, too. Suddenly I see lots of opportunities arise :)
ReplyDeleteI know, right? I can just imagine saying to people, "I'm having a hard time seeing your lines and dimples...perhaps you need a little more "color" in your bottom before I can do a proper reading."
DeleteI think I may have found my dream job! I think I need to place an ad.
ReplyDeleteThey named it Rumpology because ASStrology would be too confusing?
Haha! People might wonder why they're being asked to take down their jeans when they showed up for a seemingly innocent astrology reading.
DeleteYes, but that is why they would have to sign the Terms & Conditions first (you know no one ever reads those).
Delete"Young lady, as it clearly states I am an ASStrologist; now drop those jeans and bend over."