Friday, June 6, 2014

Fantasies: Should They Stay That Way?

On C day, I wrote a confession piece about a crush I have on an older man.  I fantasize about being with this man and doing things physically with him, but I also feel that this is a fantasy that should never become a reality.

Not all fantasies should stay fantasies, though.  I know many people in this community have experimented with their own fantasies--threesomes, bondage clubs, spanking parties, exhibitionism, etc...

My questions for my readers are:  Do you have any fantasies that you've made realities?  What were they and did they go how you expected?  Do you have any fantasies that you regret bringing to real life?

If you don't usually comment, I would really appreciate a comment on this one, because I am genuinely interested in the variety of responses.

My answer to my own question would be:  yes, I have fulfilled some of my fantasies in real life.  My husband spanking and disciplining me is one of them, and I sure as hell don't regret that one.  But there have been other fantasies that didn't go as planned or weren't as good as I thought.  I have had someone else spank me who was not my husband, and, though it was a good spanking, I missed the emotional connection that I have with my husband, and I felt rather depressed afterward.

I learned that being spanked by someone who doesn't care for you is not at all the same as the passion and emotion that comes from being spanked by someone who loves you.  I don't really regret living out this fantasy, because I think it was an important lesson for me to learn.  If I hadn't done it, I would probably still be wondering what it would be like to be spanked by another man.

That being said, I still wonder what it would be like to be spanked by a woman, but that's a fantasy for another day :)

I look forward to your responses!

16 comments:

  1. We have brought some of our fantasies to life. We had a threesome with one of my friends before we were married and it was great. Once we drove separately to a bar and pretended we were strangers. We flirted and I invited him home, and we had a great time ;-) Also have been spanked outdoors and in semi public places. One fantasy we haven't brought to life is having a male friend of Ash's join us. I have mixed feelings about that one, but as always Ash would be in control so I know that if it does happen it will be fine. I don't regret anything.

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    1. Oh, I've always wanted to try the "strangers meet up in a bar and he takes her home" thing with my husband!! It sounds so romantic :) Thanks for responding! Not quite the response turnout I was hoping for...

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  2. We did some of the things that were fantasies, rather simple things, though, e.g. me just dressed with a coat and heels on a date with hubby, and in the cinema. Cinema sex was another one we did, too, and I felt really naughty from it and am afraid of being caught in these situations. And we did some outdoor activities which I loved, on the beach, in the water, on a boat, in the woods. They were less about spanking, though I got a pretty long session of that in the woods and it felt marvelous. I did not like the ants, though. Somehow hubby and I like to do naughty things outside at times. I have a kind of problem with it while it happens, but afterwards I feel as if I have climbed a mountain. We have even been caught by the police once, and this was dead embarrassing. Hubby can shrug these things off, while knowing that there could be anybody makes me so nervous that I am always close to passing out. But it is tremendous and I am glad that we made it happen.
    Being spanked by others, a man and a woman, was what we also tried. They are friends, so I had no problem with that, and I didn’t have sexual activities with the man, because that’s beyond what I could take, but you are right, the connection is not there. It is not as personal and intimate as it should be. I was not really disappointed or shattered, but I very much missed something I get from being spanked by hubby!
    Well, one thing which I ONLY want to dream about is being spoiled by the Chippendales. It wouldn’t work for me at all in reality.

    hugs

    Nina

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    1. Oh my gosh Nina, I can't believe you had sex in a movie theater!! Were there other people there? I would totally chicken out. I have been spanked outdoors before, next to a bike trail, and I was also terrified that someone would walk by at any moment and see us. And being caught by the police is like a milestone in ones sex life ;)

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    2. I do chicken out in such situations, but with hubby I can do it. Yes, there were other people, and we were in the back of the cinema. Nobody could see what we were doing, I think, because my skirt covered everything. So, move slooowly, very sloooowly. Next to a bike trail would make me absolutely nervous, too. There is one in the woods nearby, and if I was seen by others, naked, I would die from embarrassment. Oh, the police were nice, hubby kind of chit chatted everything away. But this was so embarrassing that I don't want to repeat it.

      hugs

      Nina

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    3. Wow, Nina, slow theater sex sounds tantalizing ;) And I would not want to repeat an encounter with the cops either. I'm surprised my husband and I weren't caught back in the days when we used to park in empty church parking lots at night...

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  3. The short answer:
    I have done things things that weren't intentionally fantasizes to be fulfilled; they just sort of naturally happened. This included sex outdoors and in places that we could have easily been caught.

    Other times, things have not worked out as the fantasy "should" conclude. I have threatened and administered a spanking to acquaintances and strangers in situations that were definitely more in the realm of what you would read in a fantasy scene. I once spanked a "perfume girl" on the spot for being overly insistent etc and the reality is we didn't end up dating afterwards.

    Still have plenty of fantasies involving spanking however (obviously).

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    1. Oh my goodness, some of your fantasies sound like lawsuits waiting to happen!

      I do wonder how I would respond if a total stranger threatened/tried to spank me. Honestly, I would probably be extremely resistant, because it's like "Who is this man thinks he can spank me?! He don't know me!"

      I would probably pretend not to have any interest in it if a stranger brought it up. Now if someone I *knew* brought it up, and I had previously thought about being spanked by this person, well...that's another story!

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  4. LOL yes, lawsuits and or a lawyer's dream client.

    They are all varied situations, but a lot of times it was with friends/coworkers or /sales reps. What kept it from being completely off was the fact that we were all relatively the same age which I think toned it down some. My overall point is that what we sometimes fantasize about as the reaction and end result, based on stories or our own imaginations, doesn't always end up in real life as such.

    However, there were occasions when I mentioned things to friends/coworkers and you could see the light turn on in their eyes.

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  5. Hi Autumn. I'm new to blogging but have enjoyed reading your posts. My biggest fantasy has always been spanking and it took me years to tell my husband but we have had fun with it since. Now that we've started DD we've had some not so fun moments too but our relationship is much better. I've had some fantasies about butt plugs and we've recently began playing with a small one . I'm embarassed to admit that I like it. My husband`s fantasy is to have a threesome with another girl so hopefully someday we can make that happen:)~ Anyways nice to meet you.

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    1. Hi Lillyanna! Thanks for your comment! I have an aversion to butt plugs, cause I get squeamish about putting anything up my butt; however, I do have a slight curiosity about them, and I've heard from more than just you that they are enjoyable :)

      We also want to have a threesome with another man. Or, I should say, my husband wants to watch me with another man. I still don't know how I feel about it, but if the right man came along...

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  6. You guys are adventurous:) I like that! My husband would never go for the other man thing but hey whatever works. If you are curious about the plugs maybe you can add a small one to your implement bag. That how we use it. It is another way of submitting... when my HOH uses it and I resist it and he sooths my fears and does it anyways = big turn on ! Good luck :)~

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  7. Hey Autumn...

    As you probably already know, spanking is a HUGE turn on for me and I thought that I could only fantasize about it for a long time. Obviously, the spanking, discipline and submission part became a reality.

    My husband and I have long fantasized about having a threesome with another woman, but it has yet to happen. Our trust for the love that we have for each other is there and strong. I think the fantasy becoming reality would be easily handled and it is something that I would love to take beyond fantasy. However, finding a "unicorn" is something that I am not willing to go insane for. I won't bring in anyone looking for a long-term thing, and never any "professionals". Maybe one day, huh?

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    1. Yes, maybe one day! Although nothing will happen if you don't actively pursue it ;) I've been pondering joining Tinder recently in the hopes of finding someone--that way I wouldn't have to re-join Fetlife (ugh). All in good time!

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    2. You are so right, by the way. I know this post is ages old, but I wanted to respond. I have started pursuing it a bit more. Even pondering polyamory in some ways. Fetlife is so scary. I hope you have good luck with Tinder. Sometimes I feel like I am on the fringe of society and relating to anyone on more than a baseline social level is arduous. Life always throws the craziest curve balls and I continue to be amazed. Somehow, everything always works out for the best, though.

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    3. I know exactly what you mean. It's like, how do you bring up "hey, do you wanna join us in a three-way?" in casual conversation, hahaha. And Fetlife sucks--I joined it when it was brand new, and it was fun for a while, but full of weirdos and creeps messaging me. I've heard it's only gotten worse since I left it 4 years ago.

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